just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I will be naked everywhere
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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