yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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