You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
is it fun? or sober?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
