in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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