so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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