You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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