i permit you to call me
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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