I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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