Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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