I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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