How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
