You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
