dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
