It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Randomize
