i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
