we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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