i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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