Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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