they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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