how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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