So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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