My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Vodka?
Forever.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My ass is underappreciated
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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