so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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