can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
