An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
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