On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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