kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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