Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
