thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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