it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Shitshow foam night was such a success
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
