I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
