You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
