They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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