I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
