What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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