This girl is more easily done than said...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
