I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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