My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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