i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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