so explain again why im purple
no
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
