I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
