This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
