i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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