I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Randomize
