What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
