I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
