what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
