Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
