Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
