He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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