ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
