If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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