White coat. Heels.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
